Over the past couple of decades, online dating has reshaped how we meet partners from traditional meeting in the community to connecting virtually. I was single during the time conversations were going from whether someone was on online dating to conversations asking folks which sites they were on. The taboos of meeting people online were radically declining (albeit they still exist). Yet recent trends show a surprising shift from the expectations that online dating will exceed traditional dating—many are now turning away from dating apps. What’s behind this change? Is it a passing phase or a deeper cultural reset? And most importantly, what does it mean for singles navigating love in 2025?
Let's start with the numbers.
A recent Pew Research Center survey (2024) found that 46% of U.S. adults who have used dating apps in the past say they are now less interested in them. In the UK, a 2023 YouGov poll showed a 27% decline in regular dating app use among 18–35-year-olds compared to 2020. App downloads are also dipping. Data from Sensor Tower reveals that Tinder downloads dropped 19% between 2022 and 2024. Bumble saw an 11% decline in monthly active users in the same period.
I see this in many of my coaching clients. They would rather be off the apps with some avoiding them altogether. A survey we ran at Maclynn International a few years back captured this sentiment when 74% of 522 respondents stated they were dissatisfied with dating. This isn’t just app fatigue—it's a clear trend of disengagement.
But why the disengagement?
There are a number of reasons for the decline:
Emotional Burnout & Swipe Fatigue
Many singles report feeling overwhelmed by the endless options and lack of meaningful connection. The “paradox of choice” leaves people disillusioned, especially after ghosting, catfishing, or disappointing meetups.
Mismatch Between Intentions and Experiences
A growing gap exists between what people want (e.g., long-term relationships) and what they encounter (e.g., hookup culture or flaky behavior).
Algorithm Frustrations & Paywalls
As apps lean into monetisation, daters feel exploited rather than supported. Premium features and “boosts” often don’t translate into better outcomes.
Pandemic Aftermath
During COVID-19, digital dating spiked, but the post-pandemic return to in-person socialising has reduced dependence on apps.
Safety Concerns
Women, especially, cite harassment and feeling unsafe. LGBTQ+ users also face higher risks of discrimination or outing on mainstream platforms.
What does this mean for you? I guess it depends. Taking a step back, I can see some positives. Ditching apps encourages more organic, real-world connections, reduces dependence on tech to mediate intimacy and may lead to healthier pacing in relationships. On the flip side singles in remote or niche communities lose an essential lifeline. There may be fewer options for marginalised genders or sexual orientations, and dating may revert to exclusionary offline norms (e.g., bars, social clubs not always welcoming to all).
What should you do?
This shift isn’t cause for panic, dating apps are not going to go away—the time is now an invitation to recalibrate. Here’s how:
- Get Clear on Your Intentions
Whether online or offline, clarity around what you want (casual, long-term, exploring) can guide your choices and prevent mismatched expectations. And stick to it. It’s no good if your online dating profile is full of fun and good times, yet you are serious about curating a long-term relationship. Also you don’t want to be leading someone on if you are wanting something short term. I find many people struggle with sharing their intentions, the ‘serious’ dater fears they will be seen as desperate and the ‘casual’ dater thinks no one would be interested in short term flings and hook-ups. But that is exactly what you want to be doing, it’s a form of filtering that saves you time in the long run.
- Diversify Your Strategy
Don’t rely solely on one method. Combine online tools with in-person opportunities: social groups, classes, meetups, volunteering. I recommend Matchmaker Marias 5 5s Challenge, set a deadline for 3 months from now, then get 5 people in your network (acquaintances not friends) to set you up on 5 dates, get 5 dates from an online dating profile, talk to 5 strangers ( to up the challenge talk to 5 people you fancy), attend 5 dating events and finally engage in 5 community or charity events. That should be 25 conversations with people you don’t know in 3 months. At this point it’s not about whether you fancy the people you are talking to but to get you to open your mind and increase your chances of meeting your love by osmosis.. And if you ‘yes but’ at this suggestion, ask yourself why the resistance. Whatever your answer to that is, is one of your dating obstacles. One of the things that is holding you back from finding someone.
- Manage Your Energy
Set limits on screen time. Use apps with intention, not boredom. Take breaks when dating starts feeling like a second job. Try not to put all your focus on dating, keep your hobbies and if you don’t have any - get some, anything, at least one activity you can get immersed in. Learn a language, take up martial arts, get into climbing, join a yoga class, 5-aside or book club. Something you enjoy…and something you can talk about when you meet people.
- Considerations for online dating
Generalisations can miss nuances in each person's individual journey, I’ll make some granular generalisations around gender & LGBTQ+ and online dating. Heterosexual Women often report feeling objectified or overwhelmed by low-effort messages. My advice would be to prioritise platforms with better filtering and accountability. Heterosexual men face fewer matches and often need to initiate more. Choosing apps that support mutual intention clarity (like Hinge) may help. Lesbian and queer women are frequently underserved on mainstream platforms. Apps like Lex or HER offer safer, more community-driven spaces. Gay men often have the highest app engagement but also face challenges with hookup expectations and ghosting. Apps like Grindr offer connection, but mental health care around boundaries is crucial. Trans and nonbinary daters look for platforms that allow full expression of gender and filter preferences respectfully. Feeld and OkCupid are leading in this space.
- Take a break if all the above feels overwhelming.
Sometimes dating can feel so exhausting and pointless you become disillusioned about it all. That is a clue to take a break from dating and engage in activities that you enjoy. I call these dating cycles. They are perfectly normal. After a time of dating, or trying to, you simply need a break. You feel negative about people, yourself and the world. Everything is rubbish. Give yourself a time out, and find things you love to do however small. It's relentless out there. Be kind to yourself.
Go forth and date. Have hope, fun and be well.