Early-stage dating can be intoxicating, confusing, and quietly destabilising, especially for people with an anxious attachment style. The waiting, the mixed signals, the gaps between messages, the “what are we?” limbo. On the surface, this can look like overthinking or emotional neediness. Underneath, however, something much more fundamental is happening: the nervous system is being activated.
This is where attachment theory and polyvagal theory overlap in a powerful and compassionate way. Together, they help explain why uncertainty in dating doesn’t just feel uncomfortable for anxiously attached people- it can feel physically intolerable.
I have recently been talking to people who have been single for sometime and who are at the end of…
Over the past years, I have seen clients who appear not to know what good dating looks like. Many people…